Housecleaning (or maybe not...)

A bunch of obvious excuses that let you show them you’re not really the filthy hag they’ve been taking you for all along, but rather a caring and considerate person who wants everyone to feel good in her company.

I don’t do windows because...
...I love birds and don’t want one to run into a clean window and get hurt.

I don’t wax floors because...
...I am terrified a guest will slip, hurt themselves, I’ll feel terrible and they may sue me.

I don’t mind the dust bunnies because...

I don’t disturb cobwebs because...
...I want every creature to have a home of their own.

I don’t Spring Clean because...
...I love all the seasons and don’t want the others to get jealous.

I don’t pull weeds in the garden because...
...I don’t want to get in God’s way, he is an excellent designer.

I don’t put things away because...
...My husband will never be able to find them again.

I don’t do gourmet meals when I entertain because...
...I don’t want my guests to stress out over what to make when they invite me over for dinner.

I don’t iron because...
...I choose to believe them when they say "Permanent Press".

I don’t stress much on anything because...
..."A Type" personalities die young and I want to stick around and become a wrinkled up crusty ol’ woman!!!!